I am in love with pain

                  I looked down upon the shimmering moonlight and saw the shining sun.I rise to view the dimming of day.I awoke to the sounds of hues in shades of grey.The darkness casting shadows of enlightenment at the dawning of days.I know what I am.I wish for the starlight to sprinkle radiance on the depths of my soul. Shimmer fractions of fragmented passion and catch the last glimmer of hope twinkling in my eye.I have no love as great as beyond the break of day.I cling adhering to emptiness seeking in my world of solace. The loudness of my kindled desire,bellows out beyond the misty green lines of never ending seas.It was felt more than I thought .To submissively relinquish trust in romance, for the pleasure seekers of mans desired wants.I know now love is  something i will never feel .I'm chilled from within by a shield of bitterness
.Numbing my satisfactions into vast frozen emotion.It is of no   importance that 
I pathetically implored you to the part of me unexplored sensuality

. I steadfastly adhered to the affectionate adornment you lent out.I  see with an outlook of misunderstandings that I took it to seriously.Addictions that ruin and deteriorate the most devoted intentions of a loyal heart .I feel the afflictions of the egos need to have ownership in
free spirit.To be used up and discarded aside for I am not the girl who is ever kept with the heart but the burning lust within the inner fantasies of a mans mind.Fulfilling his wants but mine never will let go of the fear of atonement. Always be it may that the profitable gender should waver and become more than a stranger it is just another way to make me let go of my rational thoughts.I can not feel the emotions even if genuine for its a fools gold rush.Thought to be all its worth.I'm displeased but content in being .So it is mine no matter how much cannot have .this is.It is all that I have become am and is all I have left. Surely it is more than just a minds endeavors of self gratification. Grab and ripping at the seams of my tattered heart. Killing my aspirations and trust.I walk alone and always will .Never found a crown befitting in the pride of its glory.